AITAH for Telling My Roommate Her Boyfriend Can’t Practically Live With Us Rent-Free?

June 24, 2025

Living with roommates is all about balance—splitting bills, sharing space, and respecting boundaries. But what happens when someone brings in an unofficial third roommate… who doesn’t pay a dime?

That’s the situation one frustrated Redditor found herself in when her roommate’s boyfriend started treating their apartment like his permanent home—without contributing anything financially or domestically.

Was she out of line for finally saying something? Or justified for standing up for her space? Let’s dive into this heated AITAH story.

The Living Situation: A Two-Person Lease Turned into a Three-Person Problem

The original poster (let’s call her Aisha) is a 26-year-old working professional living in a two-bedroom apartment in a major city. She shares the space with her roommate, Maya, whom she met through a friend a year ago.

Everything started out great. Both paid rent on time, split utilities evenly, and respected each other’s space. But things changed when Maya started dating someone—let’s call him Jay.

At first, Jay was around on weekends. Then it became weekdays. Then, Aisha noticed Jay was basically living there.

“He’s here five or six nights a week,” Aisha wrote in her post. “He showers here, eats here, works remotely from our kitchen table, and even stores some of his clothes in our hallway closet.”

The Tipping Point: When Enough Is Enough

Aisha didn’t say anything at first. She didn’t want to make things awkward. But over time, Jay’s presence became disruptive. He was loud on work calls, left dishes in the sink, and hogged the Wi-Fi during her important Zoom meetings.

Worst of all? He wasn’t paying for anything.

“Our utilities went up by $80 in two months,” Aisha explained. “He eats our food, uses water and electricity, and treats the place like his own. But he’s not on the lease and contributes zero financially.”

After months of simmering frustration, Aisha finally confronted Maya. She asked her to either limit Jay’s overnight stays or ask him to contribute to rent and utilities.

Maya did not take it well.

The Fallout: Accusations and Silence

Maya accused Aisha of being controlling, jealous, and “overstepping.” She said that since Jay technically doesn’t live there (i.e., no mail, no key), she shouldn’t have to pay more or change anything.

“She said I’m blowing things out of proportion,” Aisha wrote. “Now she barely speaks to me, and things are super tense at home.”

Feeling conflicted, Aisha turned to Reddit’s r/AITAH community with the question: Am I the villain for asking my roommate’s boyfriend to either pitch in or stop practically living with us?

The Internet Weighs In: Fair Request or Too Harsh?

The Case for Aisha: Boundaries and Fairness

Reddit’s top comments overwhelmingly supported Aisha.

“If he’s living there more than half the week, he’s a de facto roommate,” one user said. “You’re not asking for anything unreasonable.”

Another pointed out that Maya and Jay were taking advantage of Aisha’s patience. “This is your home too. You deserve peace and financial fairness.”

Many users shared similar experiences and suggested setting a firm boundary or talking to the landlord if the situation doesn’t improve.

The Case for Maya: Love Makes You Blind?

A few commenters did come to Maya’s defense, suggesting that maybe Jay was going through a tough time or that Maya didn’t realize how disruptive things had become.

Still, even sympathetic responses acknowledged that Maya should have at least had a conversation with Aisha before things escalated.

Unspoken Roommate Rules: When Lines Get Blurry

This AITAH story taps into an issue many renters face: What counts as “living” somewhere? Is it based on how often someone sleeps there? Uses utilities? Has a key?

Here are some key takeaways:

Open communication is crucial. Roommates should have clear expectations about guests—especially long-term ones.
Shared costs must reflect shared usage. If someone’s using the space, they should contribute accordingly.
“Technically not on the lease” doesn’t mean “not responsible.” Just because someone avoids paperwork doesn’t mean they get a free ride.

What Should Happen Next?

For Aisha:

Request a calm, sit-down conversation with Maya to reset expectations.
Propose a guest agreement—limit nights or set a guest fee if Jay’s staying long-term.
If Maya refuses to compromise, consider speaking with the landlord or planning a move-out timeline.

For Maya:

Acknowledge that Jay’s presence affects Aisha and the shared space.
Discuss boundaries with both Aisha and Jay.
Consider contributing more to utilities or asking Jay to chip in.

The Verdict: Not the Villain—Just Setting Boundaries

Aisha is not the villain here. She’s simply asserting her right to a fair and peaceful home. Asking someone who essentially lives in your apartment to help cover costs is not unreasonable—it’s respectful and responsible.

This story is a cautionary tale for roommates everywhere: don’t ignore red flags just to avoid awkwardness. Speak up early, set clear boundaries, and protect your peace.