AITA for Refusing to Lend My Friend Money After She Constantly Splurges on Luxuries?

The Situation

My friend “Emily” and I have known each other for years. She’s always had a taste for the finer things in life—designer handbags, expensive shoes, and luxury vacations. I’ve never judged her spending habits; it’s her money, after all.

The problem? Emily has recently hit some financial turbulence. She reached out to me last month, asking for a loan to cover her rent because she was “struggling to make ends meet.” At first, I felt bad for her and considered helping.

Why I Said No

Then I saw her social media posts—she’d just bought another designer handbag and was raving about an upcoming weekend spa getaway. That was my breaking point. If she had money for luxuries, why was she coming to me for essentials?

I politely but firmly declined, explaining that I wasn’t comfortable lending money given her spending choices. She got upset, calling me unsupportive and claiming I didn’t understand her situation.

The Fallout

Since then, things have been tense. Emily has told mutual friends that I’m stingy and “not a real friend.” Some of them think I’m being too harsh, while others completely understand my position.

Community Reactions

Comment 1: NTA. You’re not responsible for funding someone’s lifestyle. She needs to prioritize better.

Comment 2: ESH. She shouldn’t expect you to bail her out, but maybe you could’ve been a bit more empathetic when saying no.

Comment 3: Been there—it’s tough when friends don’t manage their finances. You did the right thing by setting boundaries.

Lessons Learned

This experience taught me the importance of setting financial boundaries with friends. Helping someone in genuine need is one thing, but enabling poor financial habits is another.

Final Thoughts

So, AITA for refusing to lend Emily money? Or should I have helped regardless of her spending habits? I’m curious to hear what you think.